Creating Tomorrow

Dear Friends,

Many of us falsely believe that happiness is the result of achieving some goal or acquiring some thing. Although they may contribute to our overall quality of life, I have found that happiness is more a state-of-mind than any type of achievement or acquisition.

I feel most happy when I stop to notice and appreciate the so-called “little things” in my life, forget to think about myself as I help and support someone else, or simply lose myself as I do something that utilizes my innate talents and resonates with my soul. That feeling of happiness isn’t limited to times when - superficially speaking - things are going well with my life, either. I have become more sensitive to tuning into things that make me truly happy as an antidote for frustration when times are anything but rosy.

That’s why Anne Naylor’s “8 Gateways to Greater Happiness“* held a warm and familiar ring for me.

1. Act gratefully … be thankful

Somewhere in the flurry of life, we sometimes lose sight of just how fortunate we are, and that all of our gripes and complaining occur on a very high level. Even with everything going on in my life that I might consider “wrong” or “suboptimal”, I am sitting in a heated room in a sunny and roomy house. I have access to electricity, telephone and internet, my fridge and pantry are full, and I have enough clothing to protect me from any sort of weather should I want to go outside. Those I know and love are all in pretty good health, and also have access to the things I’ve listed above. I have friends I would run over burning coals for, and some who would do the same for me.

The loyal and loving people in my life are a treasure that no amount of money, no material possession, no “thing” I could achieve, could buy. For them especially, I am really and truly grateful!

2. Do what you really love to do … be true to yourself

Like most people, I’ve spent my time in a job that did not give me the opportunity to do what I truly feel called to do. It was frustrating, confusing and demotivating. Fortunately, I live in circumstances that provided me with an opportunity to segue into a field that strongly resonates with my skills, talents and ambitions, and I am glad about that (see: #1.)

But everyone doesn’t get the opportunity to do what they love for a living. That doesn’t mean you can’t - and shouldn’t - do it!

No matter how much you love to sing, for example, chances are you may never get a recording contract with a major record company and reach platinum status. You can, however, still brighten people’s lives with your musical gift by being creative with it. You can sing on a local choir or organize a concert for residents of a senior citizen’s home in your area. You can give family members and friends the gift of a song on a special occasion. You can volunteer to sing with children at a nearby kindergarten or church.

The amount of joy you bring yourself and those around you is not something that has to be measured in dollars, euros or pounds. It’s measured in the happiness you share.

3. Connect with today’s opportunities for happiness … be open for a new day to dawn with fresh hope and inspiration

Many of us have experienced some level of hardship in our lives. Some people had a difficult childhood, are survivors of a violent marriage, suffered through unemployment, lost a loved one, or served in a military battle zone. All of those things can weigh heavy on your heart and impact the way you approach things in your life today.

Although those experiences are part of what made you the person you are, it’s important to
realize the difference between learning from a difficult experience in the past and allowing that experience to overshadow the way you live your life in the here and now.

Treat each today like a fresh slate, because that’s exactly what it is. Open your eyes to the opportunities it holds in store for you. Be willing and ready to accept those opportunities - especially the most important opportunity of all.

The opportunity to heal.

4. Act on your agreements and commitments … be complete

We often feel encouraged to be all things to all people, while safely transferring responsibility for our actions onto others. In doing so, we may find ourselves in the position of playing a rôle and promising things to people we are unable to fulfill.

How many times have we heard sentences like the following?

• “I had to overextend myself to finance the lifestyle expected of someone in my position!”
• “How can I feel responsible for my child when I grew up without a father?”
• “It would have been o.k., if I just hadn’t been caught…”

One of the basic tenets of happiness is understanding what you truly stand for and living your life accordingly. Living at that level of authenticity may be difficult at first, because the “lighthouse” you use for orientation in your life will shift from outside to within yourself. It means you’ll find yourself marching to the beat of that proverbial different drummer. You may say “no” more often. You may ask “why” more often.

But from then on, when you give a person or a situation the gift of your unconditional “yes”, you stand by it with certainty and conviction and ease.

5. Resolve old hurts, caused or received … be forgiving

Guilt and old hurts are part of the unnecessary baggage from our past that many of us shlep with us through life, then wonder why we always feel so (mentally and spiritually) tired! Did you say or do something unkind to someone in the past that hurt them? Did someone do or say something unkind to you that caused you pain?

Chances are the actual impact of that specific deed has long since receded. Where it still exists, however, is in your own heart and mind.

In other words, you are the one giving it its “weight”.

Does it make sense to reach out to the other person involved? Maybe. If so, offer them a sincere apology for whatever you said or did, or let them know how their words or actions negatively affected you, whatever the case may be. If you are the person at fault, make sure you are not only truly sorry for what you did, but have changed your life in such a way that you are not a “repeat offender”.

Will they forgive you? Maybe. In any case, the most important thing is that you forgive. Them or yourself. Let that forgiveness lighten your load and make room for more happiness in your life!

6. Contribute your talents, time and energy … be giving

How much do you give?

I don’t mean money doled out to your favorite church or charity, although that can be important to the recipients, too. Writing a check simply isn’t the same as investing something of yourself to improve the world around you.

Help also doesn’t have to be given to those far away to count. Is there a child in your neighborhood you can help with their math homework? Does an older neighbor need a regular lift to a doctor’s appointment? Is there an organization in your area sorely in need of volunteers?

It’s not about what you can do once or off and on. Ask yourself: How can I help someone on a regular basis?

You can increase the happiness in your own life by keeping your eyes, ears and heart open for a sign of where contributing of your talents, time and energy might make all the difference in someone else’s life.

7. Have fun … be creative with the gift of your life

Like most people, as I grew older I often heard about how “the serious part of life” was beginning for me. As a way to prepare me for adult responsibility, some people seemed to suggest that all the fun would be drained out of life with a high-powered vacuum cleaner, leaving only bleak drudgery behind.

Nothing could be farther from the truth. Fun is one of the most important energizers in our lives!

Do you make time for fun in your life? It’s not something you should schedule, per se, but you should make sure that fun - like any important nutrient - is a regular part of your life’s diet. So sing out loud or dance to your favorite song. Spend some time with your kids and pets, or just have a good laugh with a friend.

How do you feel now?

See!

8. Get to know who you truly are … be trusting

How much time do you spend getting to know yourself?

We are so busy with all the demands and distractions of daily life that we seldom take advantage of the opportunities we have to get to know the most important person in our lives: ourselves.

Spending time with yourself, and getting to better understand how you tick, is an important way to increase the level of happiness you feel in life. Whether you keep a journal, paint or draw, meditate, write poetry, do yoga or jog, the time you spend alone concentrating on your own thoughts, dreams and inspirations, is an important form of self-expression.

Make time for yourself just as you would for any other important aspect of your life. Staying in touch with the person you are helps you move towards the things that are good for you and make you happiest.

Trina